Sis's Wedding!!

Everything was going great, we left friday afternoon to go to the farm I was so excited for her. We get to the farm & get everything setup for the wedding & I go up to start the flower arrangements. When I get up there I noticed that I needed more vases for the flowers. Barb brings down two vases & sits one down in front of me as I turn my head & look to see what she brought I grab my chest & the sense of happiness & hurt all at once over take my body as I start to cry. The vase she sat in front of me was a purple vase with three little butterflies on it. For most of you, you may not know but purple is my baby girls color & when I make her flower arrangements I always put a butterfly in it somewhere. I take the butterflies as a symbol of Me, her Daddy & her our Beautiful lil Angel.

I take a min and close my eyes to take it all in and when I do I felt this warm feeling just come over me. At that very moment I knew in my heart it was my baby girls way of saying: Mommy I am right here with you and that I love you. I smiled with tears running down my face and out loud said I love you Baby Girl...

I clear my face and start working on the flowers again.. I get them all done and set them in the vases and put them on the desk. We all go on doing all the bridal things you do before the wedding and just hang out. When I felt myself getting sad or pulling away I would just look up and that vase would be facing me & all I could do would be to smile.  We all went to bed and got up very early and started getting ready. I got up out of bed & of course look over at the vase & all I could say is I'm ok & it's going to be a good day...

We finish getting ready in the sissy barn and then go over to the house to get dressed. When I get over there sis had me come in and help her get dressed which meant the world to me. She was amazing, Beautiful from head to toe. I looked at her & asked are you ready & she said yes. We go down stairs to the kitchen where the door was that we came out from & on the table sits the flowers in the vase. I look down & then look up & sis says: Its ok she is here with us & is going to be apart of this with us. What I didnt mention is that the wedding was also purple the dress i was wearing to the decorations everything. All day I felt such warmth knowing that even though I couldnt see her, I could feel her with me & that she was there to see her aunt chessy get married...

Baby Girl I may not be able to see you but I do feel you with me.. My heart aches for you every sec of everyday.. What I would give to just be able to hold you in my arms for even just a min. & tell you how much I love you.. Forever on my mind and Forever in my HEART with all the love I have to give Love Mommy.